Jokes supplied by Liz Kelley,

a very nice lady and special friend of the author

Mein Liebling

let me tell you about a great funeral:

This woman she is on one of those funeral cruises where the ashes of the loved one are dumped into the ocean.

She had been married for a long time to a cheapskate, 33 years to be precisely. Finally he had died. The lady had her husband cremated, at his wishes, because he thought a burial plot would cost much too much.

After the memorial services she goes to the railing to pour the ashes out. She pours just a little into her hand and starts talking to him "Johnny" you know that one mink cape I wanted all my life? Well your company sold for so much that now I have bought myself two full length coats lined with mink.

She empties the handful of ashes and pours some more into her hand. "Oh Johnny" she says, "you know the trip to the Caribbean I always wanted, well I booked a world-cruise, on which I go tomorrow for 90 days."

She empties this handful of ashes and pours some more into her hand. "And Johnny" she continues, "you know that big yellow Cadillac I had been hoping for those last ten years. Yes, I bought myself a sunshine yellow Rolls Royce instead and it drives like a dream. Believe me, those men, all much younger than myself cannot keep their eyes of my car."

She empties this handful of ashes and pours the final remainder from the urn into her hand. "And yes my dear," she says, "You know this blowjob you always wanted me to do?"

...and she blows the rest of the ashes out onto the sea.

  Liz

"...click the picture...

..for more jokes, have fun now!"

07/09/07